Hey so I think im getting the blogging bug again,
and I do so apologise for taking such a long break
from my blog, but it was time that I realised that I should just
like my life as it is, and not behind a 17 inch computer screen,
dwelling on the past.
It also gave me some well needed time to find myself,
and question whether I've/I am going down the right path
at this time of my life.
I've realised that I've been extremely reclusive these last few months,
and for those that know me, I've been extremely grumpy and distant.
Inside, all I felt was lost.
Again, I apologise.
Last year was one of the stages in my life in which I just thought
"Stop. Take a second and think. What the hell are you doing to yourself?"
I didnt like who I was becoming, I didnt like who I had become.
Being so critical of the change I knew I was undergoing also gave
me allowance to rethink some of the destructive relationships in that stage
of my life, and finally say "To hell with it, I can't always try to make
everyone else happy at my own expense."
Through this process, I may have lost a few friends, but this is exactly
what I needed to turn my life around.
And also on this journey, I think I've finally found the people
who really appreciate me for who I am, the people who truly care for me.
If you know me well, I'm one who bottles up my emotions, cause this is
what I've been taught to do my whole life:
Lock everyone out, and you will never be hurt.
But now I realise, that there are those out there that I can count on
for whatever, and you guys did help me pull through those dark periods.
You all know who you are, and for you I am extremely thankful.
Its nearly like I've found my purpose in life, and its all thanks to you.
2010 will hopefully be a year of fresh starts and better judgements.
2010 will also hopefully make me a better person.
Wish me luck. :)